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  • Fox News: Young Women Should Go Find Sexxytimes Online And Leave Democracy To Grownups

    22 October 2014, 4:50 pm by: Doktor Zoom

    Fox News hostroid Kimberly Guilfoyle said Tuesday that America would be a far better place if young women would just please stay home and go do their Twittergrams and Tindermatches instead of cluttering up our elections with all their stupidness. She urged the…
  • Hey, Look At This Extra Money Democrats Found Laying Around For Alison Lundergan Grimes

    22 October 2014, 4:11 pm by: Kaili Joy Gray

    So there is an election? In, like, two weeks? And it’s sort of important — because ALL elections are important, duh — but there is a very good chance that this election will give Republicans control of the Senate so they can finally finally impeach…
  • WonkiFact: Yep, Rick Scott Delayed Execution For Attorney General’s Campaign Schedule

    22 October 2014, 3:14 pm by: Doktor Zoom

    During the second, fan-free debate between former Florida Gov. Charlie Crist* and current Gov. Rick Scott (R-Malfoy Manor) Tuesday night, the accusations flew hot and heavy. One of the more notable exchanges involved the question of whether Gov. Voldemort…
  • Chris Christie Will Win Presidency With New Jersey Charm And Probably Whacking His Opponents

    22 October 2014, 1:52 pm by: Gary Legum

    Human meatball Chris Christie, governor of the Turnpike Exit State, is gearing up for his inevitable presidential run in 2016. Which means giving America a glimpse of that fabulously warm personality type that once made Tony Soprano the most popular murdering…
  • Green Bay Alderman Will Listen To Citizen Just As Soon As She Isn’t A Terrorist

    22 October 2014, 12:56 pm by: Rebecca Schoenkopf

    A nice lady in Green Bay, Wisconsin, wrote her alderman, because she is a good citizen. “Hey,” she wrote, “howsabout some free bus service on Election Day for the poors and democracy and suchlike?” But she wrote it classier because she is not Yr…
  • Let’s All Listen To Track And Bristol Palin, And Laugh And Laugh

    22 October 2014, 12:01 pm by: Doktor Zoom

    Update: Additional fun audio at end of post. Thank god for responsive government! We’ve already seen the police reports, and now Anchorage Police have released audio from their interviews with witnesses at the scene of the Great Wasillabilly Rumble. The…
  • Latino Guy Delivers Absentee Ballots In Arizona. You’ll Never Guess What Happens Next.

    22 October 2014, 11:15 am by: Doktor Zoom

    Finally, the right has incontrovertible evidence of voting fraud! Democrats say it’s rare, but here is the video that proves just how real and scary it is: “Liberal activist caught on video stuffing hundreds of ballots.” Or, from some of the more…

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