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  • Come Drink All The Beers Tonight At Your Wonkette Drinky Thing, San Francisco

    18 September 2014, 5:22 pm by: Kaili Joy Gray

    Hi, San Francisco and eleventeen surrounding counties, what are you doing right now? You are counting down the minutes until it is Drinky Thing O’Clock TONIGHT, aren’t you? Yes, yes you ARE. Because that is happening tonight, at 6 p.m.-ish or so, at The…
  • Cliven Bundy Gets Sued, Hides Behind Skirt Of Big Government

    18 September 2014, 4:48 pm by: Gary Legum

    Ho ho, Cliven Bundy, you fat sack of mooching crap! What shenanigans are you and your family of freedom-loving cutlery enthusiasts getting up to now? Applying for jobs as lecturers in African-American Studies at schools in wingnut-heavy districts? Threatening…
  • Kentucky Jew-Hater For Senate Will Save First Amendment With Rhymes (Updated)

    18 September 2014, 4:05 pm by: Doktor Zoom

    Meet Robert Ransdell, white supremacist, former organizer for the National Alliance, and write-in candidate for U.S. Senate. He has no illusions that he’ll replace Mitch McConnell, but he’s running anyway to garner attention for his very important message:…
  • All The Lady-Americans Are Saving Money On Slut Pills, Thanks Obama!

    18 September 2014, 3:25 pm by: Kaili Joy Gray

    Hooray, woot, yessssssss, #winning, and other celebratory expressions of joy. Here’s some good news, which we all need right about now, don’t we?…
  • Sean Hannity Acts Out S/M Fantasies On Live Television

    18 September 2014, 2:39 pm by: Doktor Zoom

    Sean Hannity has some intriguing ideas about the world, but we’re pretty sure we don’t wish to subscribe to his newsletter. If it’s possible for him to go even more off the rails, this was the week that it happened.
  • Congress Idiot Explains Global Warming’s Just A Scam To Make Scientists Rich

    18 September 2014, 1:11 pm by: Doktor Zoom

    You sort of have to admire Indiana congresslackwit Larry Bucshon for being an out and out global warming denier, since so many of his more sophistimacated Republican colleagues have decided to avoid the question with the “I’m not a scientist” dodge. No…
  • CNN’s Don Lemon: We Should Beat Our Kids Because It Worked For Slave Masters

    18 September 2014, 12:16 pm by: Kaili Joy Gray

    Sure, slavery might have had its downsides, but CNN anchor Don Lemon is pretty sure there’s at least one valuable lesson to be learned: how to effectively discipline your slaves children to instill the appropriate amount of terror so they’ll know…

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