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Derp Roundup: Your Weekly March Through The Marshes Of Madness

19 April 2014, 3:57 pm by: Doktor Zoom
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Welcome to another edition of Derp Roundup, the weekly feature where we scrape the dumbest possible news leftovers off our overheated browser tabs, blend them into an almost-digestible slurry, and serve them up to you with a muffin and a warning to imbibe…
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Watch Jedi Nevada Legislator Use Vulcan Voodoo Logic On MSNBC’s Chris Hayes (Video)

19 April 2014, 12:52 pm by: Doktor Zoom
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Meet Nevada Assemblywoman Michele Fiore, who traded the second “l” in her first name for the magical ability to never accept the premise of any question asked by a member of the Liberal Media. Hayes asks her if she agrees that SuperFreedom CowActivist…
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Business Insider Finds Your Futurist Sci-Fi Tech Dreams Hilarious, You Silly American People

19 April 2014, 12:05 pm by: giggle
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Business Insider has breaking news: Americans believe crazy shit about science. Just think of the 18% of people who believe The Flintstones was loosely based on a true story. The National Science Foundation must have wept when they realized their funding was…
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Read These Happy Links For Freedom, For America, For The Lizard People

18 April 2014, 5:09 pm by: snipy
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Dok Zoom wrote a lovely remembrance of Gabriel Garcia Marquez, who passed away yesterday at the age of 87. Do you need to know how to cook and eat a tiny little baby lamb leg for Jesus, for Easter? We’ve got you covered. George R.R. Martin wrote a new book…
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Wannabe Nebraska Governor Will Beat Up Obama Doll For Freedom

18 April 2014, 4:45 pm by: snipy
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As political satirical fun time bloggers, we applaud the new ease with which any candidate anywhere can make themselves a YouTube and spit out a campaign ad, because that really has been comedy gold for us over the past few years. Even the big folks have used…
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South Carolina Mayor Fires Police Chief As Part Of Perfectly Ordinary Vendetta, Not Because She’s…

18 April 2014, 4:24 pm by: Doktor Zoom
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Just to confirm that small-town politics can be every bit as fierce and sleazy as anything in your big cities, the mayor of Latta, South Carolina, Earl Bullard (really!), fired the town’s police chief, Crystal Moore — who is also an out lesbian — with…
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Game of Hormones: How Will Lady Clynton’s Grandchild Help Her Usurp The Throne?

18 April 2014, 4:04 pm by: Alex Ruthrauff
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The bloodstone hearth glowed crimson and umber athwart the embers of the fire. Lady Hillarye Clynton regarded the beasts carved upon it: the savage bear, the diffident squirrel, the cowardly otter. Above them all, the rampant croissant, sigil of House Clynton,…
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