Wonkette Headline News Reader

Deleted Comments Of The Day: You Trashy Racist Bitchsluts Need To Say ‘Merry Christmas’ Or Else

11 December 2013, 5:00 pm by: Doktor Zoom
Tweet

Looks like it’s time for another trip to the ol’ comment queue, that purgatory where comments submitted by new users must cool off until we deem them worthy of inclusion in the Wonkette Community (bribery can help). Our first missive comes from…
Permalink Read Article
Lamar Alexander’s Aide And The Lighter Side of Child Porn Allegations

11 December 2013, 4:20 pm by: Doktor Zoom
Tweet

Oh, damn, Wonkers, you know what the adorable kittens mean, don’t you? The adorable kittens mean we have a story about something terrible and we’re going to try to buffer it with something sweet and cute. Does that work, or is it just going to make you…
Permalink Read Article
Let’s All Watch Some Douche Yell At Kathleen Sebelius

11 December 2013, 3:50 pm by: Rebecca Schoenkopf
Tweet

Maybe as a good liebrul you are a little ticked off at Kathleen Sebelius right now. You want Nobamacare to be perfect and rousingly smashing in its success, and whether or not Congress allocated enough funds for her to actually do her fucking job (hint: it…
Permalink Read Article
Possibly Fake Sign Language Guy At Mandela Memorial Was Pretty Much Just Signing Sarah Palin…

11 December 2013, 3:09 pm by: Doktor Zoom
Tweet

Never mind that handshake between the two commies, the real question at hand is what the heck is that guy next to the podium doing? According to deaf South Africans, it sure as hell isn’t South African Sign Language (and it’s also not American Sign,…
Permalink Read Article
Magnificent Tech Star Wonders Why Human Garbage Have To Clog Up SF, Is Not Actually Talking About…

11 December 2013, 2:20 pm by: snipy
Tweet

Today in terrible people in tech, which we really keep meaning to make a regular column post thing, we have this fucking guy. He’s some little Gordon Gekko master of the universe wannabe thought leader hacktivist whatever who’s going to hatesplain how it…
Permalink Read Article
Bryan Fischer Has Magic Constitution That Says First Amendment Is Only For Christians

11 December 2013, 1:09 pm by: Doktor Zoom
Tweet

You may have read about the performance-art “Satanists” who have offered to build a monument on the grounds of the Oklahoma Statehouse; under the law’s clause claiming that the state doesn’t favor “any particular religion or denomination,” it looks…
Permalink Read Article
You Won’t Believe This Rich Kid’s One Weird Successful ‘Twinkie Defense’ Oh Wait Actually…

11 December 2013, 12:22 pm by: Rebecca Schoenkopf
Tweet

Are you a sociopathic rich person who has raised your little buttercup with absolutely no moral guidance for the world around him? Have you taught him that he is a Randian ubermensch striding the world like a colossus? That others are as ants? That taxes are…
Permalink Read Article