Wonkette

BREAKING: Texas Attorney General Ken Paxton is a raging inferno of corruption and incompetence. Must credit Wonkette!Okay, not really. Paxton is famously facing civil and criminal fraud charges, multiple whistleblowers from his own office alleging that he did…

After weeks of stumbles, self-inflicted own goals and growing momentum against them, some of the Republican Party's weakest politicians were on this weekend's Sunday shows. How did their appearances go? Well, let's take a look.Marco Rubio on CNN's 'State Of…

Susan Collins is concerned again.Someone smashed a storm window outside the Republican senator's home in Bangor, Maine. That's awful, but she's hardly alone as a target for political violence. A man turned up at Democratic Rep. Pramila Jayapal's Seattle home…

At a recent campaign event, Republican Doug Mastriano vowed that, if elected governor of Pennsylvania, he will put an end to a variety of things that are not actually happening in public schools. "On day one, the sexualization of our kids, pole dancing, and…

This morning the Securities and Exchange Commission announced that Kim Kardashian would pay $1.26 million in penalties, disgorgement, and interest for a June 2021 Instagram post flogging the cryptocurrency EthereumMax without disclosing that she'd been paid…

Russian despot Vladimir Putin declared a flawless victory in his provoked Ukraine war last week. He even held some sham referendums annexing Ukrainian territory. However, Putin's delusions failed to subdue Ukraine, and the country's troops pushed forward with…

Another day, another racist cop exposed! Our cup runneth over with bad apples.…

One of the underlying themes of rightwing conspiracy culture that has emerged over the last several years has been a tendency to just really not get art. Or to think every piece of art — music, movies, theater, visual arts — is but a means to convey secret…

A recent Fox News poll has Democratic incumbent Senator Raphael Warnock with a five-point lead over Republican insult candidate Herschel Walker in Georgia. Unfortunately, the same poll shows Republican incumbent Gov. Brian Kemp pulling further away from…

The death toll from Hurricane Ian is rising, and more than a million people in Florida and the Carolinas are without power. President Joe Biden is coming through with federal disaster aid, and he's not demanding ritual humiliation from his longtime foe,…

Need a Brett Favre Mississippi welfare theft timeline? Yes you do. (Mississippi Free Press)"Even the most knee-jerk Trump partisans might have a hard time defending" Judge Aileen Cannon's latest orders? LOL, MSNBC, you are adorable :) The shambling shitpile of…

It's October, baby! Let the countdown to Halloween begin with chilling tales about the political nightmares occurring right outside your door. Oregon might end up with a Republican governor! Abortion bans are sweeping the nation while Kyrsten Sinema laughs…

Last night, Marjorie Taylor Greene took the stage at a Trump rally in Michigan to discuss a very serious problem currently plaguing the United States — Democrats going around murdering people just for being Republicans. "We're all targets now, though, for…

So you know how every time there is a mass shooting at a school and we start saying "Sure would be nice if we could have some gun control like all of the normal countries have!," Republicans come right back with "How dare you politicize a tragedy involving…

For years now, Republicans have been het up about Voter ID. For some this is because they recognize that poor people are less likely to have driver's licenses. For others, it is because they really did buy into all of the nonsense about widespread voter fraud…

Hello and happy weekend!Here is a very good present for all of you. It is my favorite episode of my favorite show about a Canadian dog that goes around solving people's general life problems. In this episode, which features a young Mike Meyers, Hobo helps a…

Greetings, Wonketteers! I’m Hooper, your bartender. I’m taking the day off today, sort of. Instead of making you a cocktail, I’m taking you to visit Tiki Underground to enjoy a Zombie with Jessica, my favorite bartender in Ohio. This cocktail’s the…

Awhile back we mentioned this new dating app for conservatives fronted by Kayleigh McEnany’s sister Ryann – spelled with two n’s because it’s just so adorable -- and backed by money from wealthy toilet brush with eyes Peter Thiel. Why is this app…

In an entirely expected development considering the poisonous hatred being spewed by leading MAGA Republicans about immigration and immigrants, two men have been arrested in the Thursday shootings of two undocumented migrants in rural west Texas. One of the…

According to a study conducted by the USDA, veterans in the United States have a 7.4 percent greater chance of experiencing food insecurity than do non-veterans. If they are disabled, this number triples to 22.5 percent. That seems like it should not be a…

Can we just cut the shit here? Cancel culture is no more real than Bigfoot. It is a rainbow unicorn invented by the wingers to paint themselves as victims when people call them out for being bigoted assholes. It used to be acceptable to be a gross, racist pig…

Greetings, befouled fascist fuck-midgets of Wonkette! It is I, your great friend Vladimir Vladimirovich Putin, back to make talk with you. “What???” you are saying. “But Vladimir Vladimirovich, it has only been one month since last you spoke to Wonkette.…

This week, Jordan Peterson appeared on Piers Morgan's Fox Nation show "Piers Morgan Uncensored," and as you may have heard by now, he cried. Earlier this month, in Interview magazine, director Olivia Wilde told Maggie Gyllenhaal that the villainous cult leader…

Please welcome Montana author, teacher, and all-around swell guy Laramie Dean for the first of our seasonally appropriate Halloween chats!Dean is the theatre director at Missoula's Hellgate High School. Yes, that's really the school's name, but unfortunately,…

We have several front-line dispatches from the Republican war on women's bodily autonomy, which keeps getting uglier. Let's take a look at what the bastards are up to this week:Michigan: House GOP Does D & E On Repeal Of 1931 Abortion BanIn Michigan, Democrats…

The Oregon governor's race is just six weeks away, and most polls show all three candidates have an even shot at winning. That's Democrat Tina Kotek (yay!), "independent" Betsy Johnson (boo!), and forced-birth Republican Christine Drazan (holy shit!)However,…

Republicans have trouble with the genuine expression of joy, so it’s no surprise they resent drag queens. No, sorry, mocking the less fortunate and otherwise relishing human misery is not “joyful.” Try again. However, a drag brunch combines stacks of…

Ben Shapiro is a Jewish person, but the kind of Jewish person who thinks pretty much all other Jewish people in America are bad Jews. In other words, he's a fundamentalist, and fundamentalists are unpleasant dicks no matter what religion you're talking…

If you have a copy of my dumb book, you know that I used to be pro-life. But even then (it faded! before it turned on a dime!), I thought abortions should be not only free for minors, they should come with a goddamn iPod. (It was very long ago!) Anyway, more…