Wonkette

This lovely recipe is brought to you by Wonkette operative Adam MacMorgann! Thanks, Adam!Cheesecake: a magical dessert that can cure all ills, promote world peace, and end the threat of climate change. At least, that's what I tell myself and my family to…

No getting around it: I've been smiling off and on since I heard this old favorite on a streaming service yesterday. It's just such a perfect song.…

So! I was gonna make the last thread the open thread, but then I saw this and realized I needed to warn the masses who might hypothetically be planning on spending their evenings tonight watching bad Hallmark Christmas movies. You know how we always laugh and…

Shit's goin' down.Yesterday, the Supreme Court added another major issue to a docket already filled with blockbusters, granting cert in three cases about Donald Trump's desperate attempts to keep his tax returns from congressional committees, New York…

Yesterday, Judge Paul Malloy ruled that the state of Wisconsin must purge 234,000 voters who "may have moved recently" from the state's voter rolls, the majority of whom reside in Democratic strongholds. The ruling was in response to complaint from the…

It is not often that we can get too excited about any legislation coming out of South Carolina. Especially if we are talking about laws concerning abortion. And yet, state Sen. Mia McLeod has come out with what I believe is the actual greatest bill of all…

Yesterday, the House Judiciary Committee approved two articles of impeachment against Donald Trump. It was a party-line vote, and that's Republicans' primary strategy for protecting their corrupt president. They want Americans to think this is all just a…

We have nothing left to say after this week except ... Before we count down the top ten stories of the week, here is your obligatory money beg, because if you love Wonkette, we need you to SUPPORT WONKETTE. Give us money to keep the lights on up in here!…

Hi Wonkers, how are you, we are fine! No, really, we are fine. Despite being ad-free and ENTIRELY reader-funded, we made payroll this month for our little mommyblog/independent news site with a cherry on top and EVERYTHING, and didn't even have to scream and…

After narrowly losing his reelection bid to Democrat Andy Beshear, lameduck Kentucky Gov. Matt Bevin has gone on a pardoning spree, pardoning 428 prisoners between losing the election and Wednesday, his final day in office. It's not unusual for governors to…

President Arty McDeals got rolled. AGAIN. Donald Trump bumbled us into a stupid trade war with China, and now he's so thirsty for a deal he's holding up a blank piece of paper and demanding a grateful nation pay tribute to his unparalleled negotiation skills.…

We do not want to be unfair to Queen Melania Of The #BeBesting Of No Bullying And Also Opioids, but she has finally weighed in on her online troll husband's online bullying of Greta Thunberg, the 16-year-old climate activist who ruined Donald Trump's entire…

You know, you learn something new every day. Yesterday, I learned that Americans are taking fish antibiotics because they cannot afford antibiotics for humans.…

The UK's Labour Party got spanked last night, and although I'm a devoted viewer of The Crown and Victoria, I'm not really qualified to make sweeping statements about British politics. Fortunately, conservative writer Andrew Sullivan is prepared to tell us what…

Liz literally just finished writing about how there was an actual crazy person spotted waddling across the White House grounds so he could go blubber about the new fake "dirt" he got on his latest #crimetime trip to Ukraine. "What did you get," asked Donald…

There will come a day when we will not be forced to write about that lunatic Rudy Giuiani every seven hours. We can go back to blessed ignorance on the vagaries of Ukrainian transliteration. Two Ys? An I and a Y? Won't be our problem! We'll forget the name of…

Donald Trump has a totally legitimate reason for maybe deciding to act even more like a criminal authoritarian king during the election next year, by refusing to debate his eventual Democratic opponent.No, it's not because Joe Biden or Bernie Sanders or…

At the New Jersey statehouse Thursday, hundreds of angry anti-vaxxers packed into a hearing room to demand their voices be heard. It was the wrong hearing room, but they demanded to be heard anyway, because this is America. The crowd wanted to express their…

Mitch McConnell was on Sean Hannity's show last night, and the Senate majority leader gave away the ending of Donald Trump's impeachment. We've waited three years for this, but McConnell still ignored all the #NoSpoilers! hashtags on Twitter. He didn't coyly…

Not content with its plan to effectively end asylum for new applicants, the Trump administration has dreamed up some brand new fuckery to hit asylum-seekers with. Immigration attorneys tell Buzzfeed News and the San Diego Union-Tribune the Border Patrol has…

One of the grossest and most special features of the impeachment of Donald Trump is that Doug Collins, the carnival barker auctioneer redneck from Georgia, is the ranking member on the House Judiciary Committee. And he did not want to come to work this…

Earlier this week in Cincinnati, lawyers for the Department of Justice and anti-gun-control nonprofit Gun Owners of America sparred over what makes a weapon a machine gun.Newly manufactured automatic machine guns have been illegal in the United States since…

Morning Wonketariat! Here's some of the things we may be talking about today. The House Judiciary Committee's 14-hour talk-a-thon showed the Republicans' cold-blooded loathing of anyone and everything on the left, especially Joe Biden. Lawmakers traded barbs,…

GOTCHA LAST, we are not including any of that dumbfuck's tweets in this post. They are all irrelevant, they are all whiny, but did you know he's sent over 100 of them today? He is really handling this day of impeachment very well! And doing a lot of work in…

You know ... there are people who should say certain things, and people who should not. For instance, that time OJ Simpson wrote If I Did It -- it would probably have been a good idea for him to just not say that collection of words at that particular…

Last week, Lev Parnas petitioned Judge J. Paul Oetken of the Southern District of New York for "modification of the terms of his pre-trial release, to allow him to leave his home daily from 8:00 am to 5:00 pm, provided that he avoids airports, boat docks or…

Former South Carolina governor and current Donald Trump stooge Nikki Haley questioned in a Washington Post op-ed yesterday whether we could've removed the Confederate flag from the statehouse in today's political climate. This isn't because the president is a…

Donald Trump held a White House reception to mark Hanukkah 11 days early yesterday, complete with a couple of popular rightwing Christian pastors, a signing ceremony for his great big I Heart The Jews executive order, and Jared Kushner closing out the event by…

As we have heard over and over and over again for the last several years, we are a divided nation. Mostly because of the people who are terrible. It's not us, we're lovely. But there is one thing — one person, rather — who unites us all, kind of, and it is…

Many fascinating shitshows happened in Wednesday's hearing with Department of Justice Inspector General Michael Horowitz in the Senate Judiciary Committee. Republicans lied and pretended the central focus of Horowitz's report was that there were some…